Sunday, January 18, 2009

Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway or Norman Halls State Trooper and Highway Patrol Exam Preparation Book

Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway: A Vicious and Unprovoked Attack on Our Most Cherished Political Institutions

Author: Dave Barry

Understanding the urgent need for a deeply thoughtful, balanced book to explain our national political process, Dave Barry has not even come close. Though he himself has covered many campaigns, run for president several times, and run for cover at the rainy inauguration of George W. Bush (the man will spare nothing for his art), Barry has instead outdone himself.

Below the Beltway includes Barry's stirring account of how the United States was born, including his version of a properly written Declaration (When in the course of human events it behooves us, the people, not to ask "What can our country do for us, anyway?" but rather whether we have anything to fear except fear itself) and a revised Constitution (Section II: The House of Representatives shall be composed of people who own at least two dark suits and have not been indicted recently).

Dave also cracks the income-tax code and explains the growth(s) of government, congressional hearing difficulties, and the persistent rumors of the influence of capital in the Capitol. Among other civic contributions, his tour of Washington D.C. should end school class trips forever.

Publishers Weekly

Sporting red trunks, white and blue boxing gloves and an American flag towel on the cover, pugilistic Pulitzer-winner Barry (Dave Barry Turns 50, etc.) appears ready for all contenders in this satirical, hard-hitting political commentary ("Whatever the needs of the public are, the government responds to those needs by getting larger"). Beginning with a study of "Early Human Governments" when homo sapiens "were short, hairy, tree-dwelling creatures that strongly resembled Danny DeVito," the sardonic Miami Herald columnist breezes through the centuries to the U.S.'s birth and then to the present, amending the Constitution en route: "If a citizen is arrested, and that citizen hides his or her face from the news media, then as far as the Constitution is concerned, that citizen is guilty." He tours D.C. sites like the Mall, the Smithsonian (which "will pay you top dollar for your Beanie Babies, Cabbage Patch dolls, Pokemon cards, refrigerator magnets, ceramic cats") and the White House ("To take a tour, simply climb over the fence and hold very still until men come sprinting to assist you"). He aims jaundiced japery at presidential "language problems" and elections ("One of these years we're going to elect a president whose first official act will be to launch nuclear strikes against Iowa and New Hampshire"). Once again, the winner is... Dave Barry. 22 illus. and charts not seen by PW. Agent, Fox Chase Agency. (On sale Oct. 2) Forecast: Syndicated in hundreds of newspapers, Barry continues to widen his readership. A nine-city author tour will help launch this onto bestseller lists. Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.

Library Journal

This reviewer has been told all his life that foods like chicken livers, tofu, brussels sprouts, and other gagging delights are good for him and he is just in a weird little minority. Well, here's another trend he'll buck. Most libraries will buy Barry's book just because he's written it and because most normal people sit down to chuckle with his witticisms after consuming a meal of Cornish game hen or haggis. The author purports to poke fun at politics in the vein of P.J. O'Rourke and Al Franken, but it seems as if he gathers a lot of funny words, throws them at a Velcro board, and sees what sticks. There is no cohesion to his ramblings, and there is very little to laugh at, which is a shame, because O'Rourke and Franken have found that politics is ripe for the picking. The work is read by Dick Hill, but one would swear it is Arte Johnson trying desperately to spin gold out of this verbal dross. Go ahead and buy it your customers will love you for it but don't say you weren't warned. Joseph L. Carlson, Lompoc P.L., CA Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.

School Library Journal

Adult/High School-Once again Barry meets the challenge of finding humor in United States politics, beginning with a history of how things seemed to have evolved. His perspective is different from the traditional textbook approach to government, history, and perhaps everything else. He good-naturedly pokes fun at great American documents including the Mayflower Compact and the Constitution and provides a unique view of famous events from our past, such as the Boston Tea Party, where he insists that a giant zucchini had an influence on the resultant events. He spends some time pointing out problems in the government, federal spending, and the legislative branch, but he really hits his stride once he starts retelling Florida's role in the last presidential election. For Barry's fans, this will be another book to enjoy and for those who haven't encountered him before, this is a good place to start.-Pam Johnson, Fairfax County Public Library, VA Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information.



Table of Contents:
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Ch. 1The Origins of Government (or) Defending Humanity from Giant Carnivorous Vegetables1
Ch. 2The United States Is Born (or) The Spirit of Freedom Wakes Up and Smells the Heifers29
Ch. 3Our Government Today (or) Protecting You from Misleadingly Named Dried Fruit59
Ch. 4Touring Washington, D.C. (or) The Many Wonders of Wing Tip World87
Ch. 5The Presidential Election Process (or) Goobers on Parade125
Ch. 6A Modern American Political Campaign (or) Seven Weeks of Truth in Advertising157
Ch. 7The Making of the President 2000 (or) Let's Give Florida Back to Spain (Assuming Spain Will Take It)171
Ch. 8The Making of the President 2000, Continued (or Quick! Fetch Mr. Rather's Tranquilizer Dart! (or) Lawyers Out the Wazoo223
Conclusion245

Interesting book: Understanding China or The Age of Lincoln

Norman Hall's State Trooper and Highway Patrol Exam Preparation Book: Guaranteed Methods to Score 80% to 100% or Your Money Back

Author: Norman S Hall

Text expert Norman Hall shows readers methods for scoring 80 to 100 percent on state trooper and highway patrol officer qualification tests. Hall analyzes every aspect of the most current versions of the tests and shows readers what they need to know to qualify.



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